Law of Attraction experts have long known that attitude and expectations create reality—and now cognitive science is beginning to catch up.
Recent studies have proven that people who engage in positive self-talk and believe in themselves actually use more of their brains and have enhanced power to overcome obstacles.
And there’s also research that shows we get more out of other people when we believe in them too.
So, it’s perhaps no surprise that most people who are unhappy are in this low state for the very same reasons—because they have toxic expectations that are creating a negative reality.
Here are the expectations that most commonly ruin lives and damage happiness, along with advice for overcoming them…
Opportunities Will Just Appear
While part of working with the Law of Attraction involves connecting with your intuition and looking out for signs, this doesn’t mean you should abandon the idea of actively seeking opportunity. The expectation that all of life’s best opportunities will simply land in your lap will leave you severely limited and at the mercy of other people’s whims.
Instead, accept that a degree of hard work is essential for virtually any kind of success, then go out and get what’s yours!
Here are a few tips to find opportunities:
- Be curious about life in general
- Try new things every once in a while
- Meet people outside your field (and from other countries/cultures)
I Should Be Universally Liked
The harsh truth is that not everyone is going to like you, no matter how much you might want them to. However, the good news is that in the vast majority of cases, it will be the other person’s history, hang-ups and insecurities that stop them from seeing the best you have to offer.
When you’re able to stop expecting everyone to like you, you’ll work harder to lay the groundwork for meaningful relationships, gradually earning trust and respect—and you’ll also avoid a hell of a lot of unnecessary heartache.
Life Will Be Fair
We’ve all heard that life isn’t fair, but even if we know this in theory it can be extremely hard to accept. At a subconscious level, many people still expect everything to balance out and just sit back and hope this will happen.
If you’re guilty of expecting things to right themselves, it’s time to take a more proactive attitude towards getting back on your feet after a setback. Ask yourself what actions you can take to actually make a difference, and stop focusing on the sense that you’ve been short-changed.
People Can Read My Mind
This expectation is particularly problematic in romantic relationships, but it can cause problems in all areas of life. Basically, if you assume people are always going to know what you’re trying to say, you won’t try as hard to be clear—and you’ll end up being misunderstood more regularly as a result.
To increase your communication skills, work to put yourself in the other person’s shoes (both intellectually and emotionally). What might they feel about what you’re trying to say? What extra information might they need in order to understand you properly?
Others Should Agree With Me
This is a tricky expectation to tackle—after all, you deserve to be taken seriously and for people to listen to your thoughts. However, try to remember that the things you think are obvious might look completely different to a person with a different past, their own values and a specific agenda.
Often, it’s more productive to accept there could be more than one right answer to a controversial question, and to shift your attention to a more important issue: how a compromise can be found so that everyone’s basic needs can be met.
Material Possessions Will Make Me Happy
Of course, there are things that make life easier, more fun and more comfortable. However, don’t let this lure you into believing that accumulating objects will lead to true happiness.
It isn’t material gain that gives us satisfying, emotionally fulfilling lives, and far too many of us put off helpful self-reflection by saying things like “I know I’ll feel good once I get that new car/new house/extra cash.”
If you don’t find your true purpose, live in line with your values and truly get to know yourself, no amount of physical items will have the power to make you happy.
I’m Going to Fail
Finally—and as indicated at the outset—if you expect to fail then all you’re doing is setting yourself up to fail! It’s far better to accept that sometimes things will go your way and sometimes they won’t, adding onto this the assumption that you can always learn and grow from things that feel like failures.
However, once you actually commit to pursuing a specific endeavour, use techniques like affirmations and visualizations to maximize your belief that you’ll succeed. As the aforementioned studies show, this will make you much more likely to get what you want.
Tip: Turn your failures into successes and overcome any obstacles, read our article here to find out more.