Have you ever been attracted to someone you know you CATEGORICALLY can NOT have? I know I have, and it sucks, like really sucks!I’m not alone, when I was in graduate school, a classmate confided in me that she was attracted to a mutual friend’s husband. Obviously, any decent human being doesn’t actively pursue that desire, however, it doesn’t stop you from fancying them.
He was everything this girl looked for in a boyfriend, handsome, stable, he had a good job and nice home, and she always used to fantasized what a relationship with him would be like.
So, why is it a lot of us are attracted to men already in a relationship?
You don’t have to feel bad for it, this worldwide phenomenon is actually called “mate-choice copying,”. It doesn’t just occur in humans it is known to happen with animals including fish and birds .
In animals, females often prefer males who have been seen with other females or who have mated with other females. Whereas female humans tend to show a propensity to copy others’ mate choices, more than men do.
There is an idea that females like to choose a ‘good’ partner, and the interest of other women signals that the man has the right qualities, in a way, it’s almost as if he has been ‘pre-screened’.
However, not all women prefer mated men, there are some conditions under which women find men who are in relationships more attractive.
- THE FEMALE PARTNER SHOULD BE ATTRACTIVE
Women tend to rate men as more appealing when they are dating an attractive female partner.
Men are percieved as less appealing when they date an unattractive female partner.
- THE MEN MUST BE PERCEIVED AS POTENTIALLY AVAILABLE
This one is kind of shocking, a man must also be perceived as available in order to truly interest women.
If a man is described as having a girlfriend, it’s not a phrase as strong as men ‘in love’.
The study found that women found men who were not wearing a wedding ring to be more attractive.